Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Most Annoying Optical Post in Internet

classy optical eyeglasses
For me, that is! Every once in a while I stumble upon a blog that mentions about these sexy, classy, fashionable, affordable, high quality, smart (yes-sir, smart), high profile designer frames (with variable dimensions) and eyeglasses using the latest modern materials, manufacturing and marketing systems. Apparently, buying a pair is a must if you want to acquire an aura of Zen.Ni-Cad batteries may not last but the effect of these eyeglasses with a wide range of patterns and prices will. In doubt? It is even in the news, you dumb foxes!

After seeing these words a hundredth time, I have almost started to believe  Jason Calacanis, who announced his retirement from blogging. But what hurt me most is this analysis of the Economist:[1]

The rest of the world may well have missed the unfolding of his tragedy. Behind it, however, is a bigger trend. Blogging has entered the mainstream, which -as with every new medium in history- looks to its pioneers suspiciously like death. To the earliest practitioners, over a decade ago, blogging was the regular posting of text updates, and later photos and videos, about themselves and their thoughts to a few friends and family members. Today lots of Internet users do this, only they may not think of it as blogging. Instead, they update their profile pages on Facebook, MySpace or other social networks.
 Something had to be done to bring back quality to blogosphere, to go back to the glorious days. So, after reverse cell phone lookup(s), I proudly announce the next big thing, the birth of Reverse Pay Per Post:

Pay Per Delete!

I hereby ask my fellow bloggers to find the most annoying post of every month and twist, bend and degenerate it. But, there is more.

What is the point of writing trash for a miserable 5 bucks? Damn, you even wait in queue for days to get an opportunity. Do the opposite: ask for deletion fees! Use all your skills of search engine optimization so that your twisted posts come first in the search engine results! And charge for deleting your posts.

After a few hours of meditation, I have come to conclude that following formula will be convenient in calculating the deletion charges:

PPPv * (6^6*66)/(Ar-666)

Where PPPv is average pay per post value and Ar is the Alexa Rank at the time of deletion request. For example, for a post paying $ 5.0, with an Alexa rank of 300,000 at the time of delete request, 5 * 3,079,296 / 299,334 = $ 52.44 will be charged.

I have also created a nifty badge for the members of this congregation of noble souls, the "I Delete" badge:

badge of I delete clan 
Stick it at the end of your posts so that the offended knows you are ready to delete at a reasonable fee. If you wish, you can also attach a JavaScript that calculates the fee for the convenience of the offended.
Oh, do not forget that chain-linking your I-delete-articles will increase the overall relevance of your posts.

Come and join the "I Delete Movement" and let us turn the clock back to the days when blogging was cool.
Vive le Movement, Vive la Revolution!
[1] Credit goes to Cats with Thumbs for referring the Economist article.


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